Flaws gets me nowhere

2012-02-12T22:14:00.001+08:00

Caught One for money at dte with Patrick and Clement on friday midnight. Cab home, slept at 3am. Spent both my saturday and sunday sleeping, slept for a longgggg time. Didn't have much appetite for food and wtf the weather's killing meeee. K school tmr, fuck laaaaa.

Back to sleep, byeeee.
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2012-02-10T00:18:00.001+08:00

Haven't been blogging recently, too busy with school. Lol kidding, i'm not that hardworking. Anyway, cdn practical test is overrrrr! Gave school a miss on thursday. Too lazy to attend school and lesson's cancelled!

Soooo, headed out to 112Katong with Jieting for a walk. Astons for lunch, play pool for few hours and had an hour singing k. Good life because there's no school! HAHAHA!

Buttt, school later on at 8am. Bitch laaaaa. And wtf i feel so grumpy and frustrated recently! So many things bothering me and, do you think i'll feel better after confronting you? I mean, have a good talk together. You think it's a good idea? Because i find it pointless repeating myself again and again and again, upteen times! Yet, you insist things in going your own way? Wtf, just do whatever that pleases you then.

Forget it laaaa. It doesn't makes any difference. If you think you're happier this way, so be it. Feel so tired and pissed off.

Life's meaningless. Seriously.
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2012-02-05T13:21:00.001+08:00

Town with Jieting, Patrick, Clement, Justin and Glenn. As usual walking around far east and over to cine.

Frolick and dinner over at cine. Pool at lucky plaza, Jieting went off and we caught a movie, Chronicles at 9.20pm cine. Major headache after the movie, hom-ed at 12am.

Should i head to town and get my toms at scape? Urgh, can't make up my mind mind mind!

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2012-02-04T00:30:00.001+08:00

I'm not upset, really am not. Just feeling the pain two years ago. Heartbreak.

I'm loss for words. I wish i could find the right words to tell someone how i've been feeling. I don't want to hide those feelings in me and yes, those scenes keep appearing in my mind. I just want to get rid of it, those scenes, those feelings and everything.

Fuck this shit, why must this spoil my day?

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2012-02-03T23:57:00.001+08:00

TGIF!

Hi cupcakes, xx. Had a great friday today! Why? Cause' i've gotten some loots today at town with Shannon and Derrick. Hehe. Burnt a big hole in my wallet butttt, i've managed to save 20bux home! Well, wanna get toms shoes but i guess maybe another day till i've saved enough. And well for my Dr.Martens, wait long long uh.

Anyway, going back to work at mbs next week, so yeah baby i'm gonna save you up for my Dr.Martens/Toms. And, am looking for part-time jobs~

Back to the point, walked around town just window shopping and of course gotten myself some loots! Just couldn't resist temptation! Haha. Back home at 8pm, dead beat and have been fiddling with my phone till now.

Stay home friday with the companion of my television. Gonna sleep soon, thanks to school this morning at 8am. What a torture, fuckkk late as usual. 8am lesson = forever late. Cdn practical again, urgh fucking confusing and stress! Exam next wednesday. Holy shit. Gonna do my last preparation on monday! Sigh.

Why do i have the urge to drink today? That's bad, pretty bad.

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I'll fucking fall in love with your tattoos, cause' baby you're fucking cute and hot! Oliver sykes; Bring Me The Horizon \m/
<3<3<3

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2012-02-01T21:57:00.001+08:00

Many things bottled deep down in me and i'm breaking down soon. For the first fucking time of my whole life, i cried while on a bus ride home. And it got me thinking.

Why am i such a loser? Why can't i be stronger? Why am i always at the lose end? Why am i such a letdown? I have many friends but i guess there's none i could rely on. Fuck.

I hate it when i have two cliques to hang out with and the minute i hang out with one, the other clique would say all those nasty words and everything. "Aiyah, go find your other friends la/Only care about them and not us/Eh pangseh kia" Eh like wtf? I can't possibly split myself and hang out with both? Must you guys say such nasty words and honestly speaking i'm fucking hurt. But what you expect me to do?! All are my friends. And, i don't mean to neglect anyone of you too but can't you understand what i'm thinking? I'm trying hard to balance my time with friends and this is what i get for being said. Seriously. In this case, i rather have no friends. Really. I had enough of these nonsense. Argh fuckkkk.

People are really selfish and stucked up. When you're being too nice to someone, people tends to take you for granted and make use of you. Just because i'm nice to you and you could do this to me? Yeah i may seems to be an easygoing person but that doesn't mean you could joke around or take me as a joke. I'm not a clown. I'm happy looking on the outside but each time people makes nasty comments of me, i acted like i'm not mindful of it. BUT ACTUALLY I'M FUCKING HURT AND YOU JUST CONTINUE TO SAY SO. You think it's funny and you mean no harm but what you've said means alot and hurts alot, to me. Sorry? So you think this would work everything out? Fuck you. Don't expect things to turn out right or expect a sorry to change everything. Because the fact is, the hurt was done and nothing could be undone.

Trust. I've never had any doubts with people whom i know. I trust them and they took my trust to hurt me. Because i'm too trustful of people, but i'm not naive. But because i really treated everyone sincerely and truthfully. AND WTF THIS IS WHAT I'VE GOTTEN?! Betrayal. Yeah. It's a practical world out there and we're living in it. But people are so evil. They treat you well when you're of use to them. And when you're not? Ha, fucking dump you one side. So what if you're so fucking bad an your attitude sucks?

As long as you're poplular amongst all the girl/boys, fucking chio/handsome. Nobody cares if you're bad as long as you have the looks in you. Who cares about your inner beauty? Hello, chio then make friend. Not chio? Fuck off la. Some people are worst, fucking disgusting. Suck up to friends, trying to be as popular as them. Bootlickers. Everyone are. If you hang out with goodlooking people, you look good too. So, do you make friends with a sincere heart or just for the benefits? Ha. You know the answers well. And i admit i'm not goodlooking or what, but that doesn't gives you a reason not to make friend with me. Must you hang out with goodlooking people to make yourself look/feel good? What do you gain? Nothing. Well, have? Just poplularity and many admirers. Big deal? Please, live a life of your own. And not follow what others do! Have your own decision/choice of your life.

Tolerance. Everybody have their own limits. And i may seems like i'm always joking around but hello, i have my limits. You can joke and play around with me but know your limits. You think i don't say anything, means i'm dumb? I'm just pretending. Don't try to do dirty lil' tricks behind my back and fucking act like a innocent kid infront of me. This time round, if you've really crossed the line, i'm not gonna take it as a joke. For sure.

Had enough of facing people whom have been giving shits in my life. True or fake friends? It doesn't matter. As long as you treat me right, i will do so too. "Do what you want others to do unto you."

And right now, i think i just feel better being alone. So what if the loneliness creeps in? I'm more fearful of hurts. K. I'm done. And i'm not gonna give a damn at anyone.

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2012-01-30T01:03:00.001+08:00

119 photos

Kidding, i don't have so much time to spare uploading so much photos at one shot. Just a few, kinda lazy to upload all. Cause it' simply too much.

From the beginning of the year of 2012, i've around 200photos taken and really, really lazy to upload them. Omg.

So, i'm lazy to blog too. Like obviously. Just upload few to show only, cause i've not been blogging often. Chinese new year photos will be uploaded soon and the rest too, on facebook i mean. Add me, Cecilia Oh.

Will blogged about cny too, real soon. Probably, a few more days later. Hahaha sorry for my laziness but really too much to be done!

K, lazy blog already. Goodnight cupcakes! Xoxo
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2012-01-25T09:15:00.001+08:00

Gongxifacai, happy chinese new year! Get more angpaos and gamble more! Enjoy and huat ah!

Sorry for the late greetings butttt happy chinese new year cupcakes, xoxo.

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2012-01-21T23:38:00.001+08:00

Fucked up.

I hate it when people raise their voice at me for no reason. You didn't get mysentenceright and wtf you just argue with me and attitude me. Can you like give me a minute and let me say finish my sentence?! Wtf, i haven't finished talking and you just fucking cut off my sentence and misinterprete what i wanna say. Fuck. Could you just hear me out?! Cb laaaaaaaaaa knn. Fucking pissed off.

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2012-01-21T22:48:00.001+08:00

Red hair

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2012-01-18T19:42:00.001+08:00

Friends.

We are best friends. We understand each other in and out. Be it happy or sad, we're always there for one another. Support, care, concern, love and everything. Used to be.

I'm on my way home right now, thinking. Thinking about life back a year ago. Everything seems perfectly fine, i had a bunch of good friends made in ite, they really brighten up my life. All the times we've spent together, during lunch breaks, birthday celebrations, kiteflying, movie, shopping and many. I just love those moments. All the twelve of us. What about now? Everything have changed. Some left, some stayed and what's becoming of us? I don't know. And right now, in a few months time we're gaduating and, this is what upsets me the most.

All i can say is, i'll miss every single one of you my friend.

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2012-01-12T21:58:00.002+08:00

Buzzielikeabee.

These few days have been rather busy and worn out for me. Because of the January intake for Year 2012. So, Ace and i took Hair Fashion class UH1201A. AWESOMEZ. Gonna blogged about orientation in another post once i've gotten the photos!

Moving on......STUDIES. Shit ley, WFB report's due on next tuesday and i'm not done with it at all. Not even a single alphabet typed. I can really kill myself. AND WHAT'S WORST?! I'M WORKING ON THE WEEKENDS. I'm left with Monday to finish it all up. Great, i can really kill myself right now. And, for CDN. I'm lagging behind......... OMGGGGG HOW?!

K, i should go kill myself now. Bye.

Btw, just some feelings these few days.

Firstly, i feel so fucked up with someone. Shall not say who. But, you do read my blog. I know. I don't understand why things turned out this way. And if you've noticed, we haven't been spoken much for a while. Reason? Cause i feel that i could no longer talk to you and you just wouldn't bother to listen either. So, what for i'm doing and saying so much? You chose to go your way and you've made the decision then so be it. As a friend, i've done my part and did what i could. I don't want to have a say in your matter because ended up when things went haywired, it became my fault. So, now i shut up and i don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. If you think that i'm being too bad to you then i'm sorry because i can't helped it at all. I don't even feel like talking to you because i am lost for words. What's becoming of you? Are you that blinded with love that you couldn't differentiate who's true to you and who really loves you? Really. What the fuck is wrong with you?! Is this what you really want? After all the hurt he've caused in you, you still chose to get back with him, why? Ahhhh wtf la, can't be bothered anymore. FORGET IT.

Secondly, i'm vexed over poly admission issues and argh i'm confused over the courses to choose. Omg, this is crazy.

Thirdly, i mizz you.

Fourthly, i'm mad tired and i get easily annoyed recently. So, please don't irritate me if not, you'll definitely get it from me. I swear.

For now, goodnight.

2012-01-08T01:55:00.001+08:00

I miss you and really i do. I wish i could carry on typing this post but, i feel so ____ in me. Just like two years ago, exactly the same feeling. Heartbroken. Yeah, that's right. Exactly.

Didn't knew that saying goodbye is so hard. Because i teared when i walked away...

:'(

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2012-01-04T19:05:00.001+08:00

I never would have thought that i would met someone like you. You him her me us.

Nobody would understand how i'm feeling right now. Just like two years ago, we've broke up and you went off with another girl. There, this's the feeling. Heartache. You know? I bet you don't.

But i just feel so attached to you...

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2012-01-04T14:40:00.001+08:00

2012 resolutions.

Strive hard to acheive what i want, be it studies, goals and dreams.

Spend quality time with family and friends. That's what i'm always failed at. I tend to spend more time with friends. So, hopefully i would learn to manage my time well and equally.

Earn more money. I'm a big spendthrift. Urgh need to maintain abit.

Treat others truthfully and sincerely. Sometimes, people are selfish in a way. I don't deny either because sometimes i am selfish. I hope to change myself for the better and learn to give more, take less.

Spend more time with God.

Be happy, from the bottom of my heart.

Have someone in my life, that special one.

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2012-01-03T01:42:00.001+08:00

2011.

I've so many feelings in me while typing out this post. Mixed feelings. 2011, Good and bad things happening.

Family, quarrels and stuffs. Mum's health not in a good condition. We may have arguements and fights but, we loe each other. Lol, feel so weird After typing the last sentence out. Coz we ain't good at expressing our love for one another, so it sounds rather mushy. But anyway, family matters to me alot.

Friends, good and bad. Quarrels, arguements, fights, conflicts and great memories. I didn't lose any friend, gladly and each and every one of them counts. I value friendship alot, cause they're the ones whom make me laugh and being trre for me always. Without friends, i'll never be who i am right now. So, i love all my friends. All of you makes a difference in my life.

Studies, doing rather well. Except for the third sem. My gpa didn't maintain. Sigh, right now too. I don't know why but, i've lost my motivation and determination to do well in my studies. I feel upset and disappointed with myself. I really want to study hard and get into a poly. I really regretted not studying hard for my O'levels, thus i'm in ite. I really wanna make up for my mistake and make my parents proud of me. I should buck up and finish the last lap. I can do it!

Love. About ****, a crush. It lasted for atleast 6months or longer. Just purely liking him, but i've never thought of being with him. I just like him. Nothing more than that. But, i've thought it thru' AND i should end this nonsense. We're better off being friends. Recently, i thought about him. It's been two years, i know. But, i miss him at times. A part of me am holding on. Honestly, i don't love him anymore. And frankly speaking, i still miss and think of him at times. I did thought of patching up things with him, right now we're friends. But well i've never thought of having him back in my life because i know i can never love him as much as i did, before. I suck at love. Really. Sometimes i really feel so fedup with myself. I just feel that, i'm never good enough for anybody.

Myself. Disappointing much. I dd change, changed for the better. I tried to study hard, i've achieved. But, it didn't last long. I dislike my attitude, i'm never consistent. I should really change. Start to really think about my future and everything. I feel so tired, i just wanna give up. I'm a failure in everything. Really. I feel so useless. I hope i could be a better person but i couldn't change my bad habits and learn from my mistakes. Fuck la, i'm not being myself at all. I need to be truthful to myself.

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2012-01-01T03:39:00.001+08:00

Yay 2012. Cos baby you're fireworks! Countdown over @ Sengkang Square as usual, with the same old people. Love it. It's like every year we would gather, walked over to the open field and waiting for the starting of countdown.

"5,4,3,2,1. BOOM BOOM BOOM!" The fireworks, so pretty! Hehe! 2012, will be better definitely! Will start on my summary of 2011 and follow by my resolutions for 2012 soon.

Prolly Monday or Tuesday, i promise! Need to plan my year ahead wisely. Lol, trying to act like i very clever. In the end, all my resolutions, only 1/4 done, the rest write for fuck. Lol. -__-

Before that, past few days (thurs-sat) i'm away @ M'sia. Did some shopping and well, spent the rest of my time wasting life @ the bungalow. Good life. Actually not, coz i'm feeling so moody on the first day!!! Walao, h8 being a girl, menses laaaaa! I'm like having stomach cramp the whole day, lying on the sofa and sleep. Sian, feel so torturing! The weather's killing me too. I woke up fucking early coz my mum keeps pestering me to keep her accompany. Lol.

Went shopping with my aunts, walao bitching non-stop argh, annoying. They went to buy vege somemore!!! And went home to fry some snacks! -____- Not bad loh, got seaweed flavor ( wrap seaweed ma lol), crunchy crunchy one, come my house for new year i treat you? Lol.

I'm like an idiot, standing there see them shopping for vege. Bought cosmetics only, after walking around a mall for hours. I saw iphone covers buttt sian see only, cannot buy. Lol.

Went Johor Premium Outlets, err well advertisements shows that it's a place, selling all branded stuffs. So, i went there for a look. And, tell me Cotton On, Gap, G2000, Ripcurl, Bodyshop etc, BRANDED MEH??!!! Wtf, fucking hot sia, coz it's open air place, fucking crowded, poor customer service and their designs...SO ORBIT. LOL. I bought a shorts only and nothing else. I sweat like fuck -___- I won't wanna go there anymore, price so steep, not worth it and it's not very convenient there too. I should have stayed at home lol,

Sian, grow fats only and nothing else. Life is so...meaningless. So, i'm left with a week of holidays hmmm. I feel like sleeping away my time. Hahaha.

Yingying. Ke ai hor? Hehe!

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2011-12-29T06:31:00.001+08:00

Just got home not long ago. Kinda feel tired but i just have some thoughts in mind and just wanna pen it down...

Today, i met a friend. Pat's friend, C. He made me think alot and through many things about life, people, God, friends and myself.

So, he's fucking drunk. Pat and i sent him home. And both of us took care of him, aftermath we just talk about life and everything.

From him, i really feel upset. Upset with people. I could see, how much a person could change the another. Worst or for the better. In this case, worst. He's wasting his life away, trying to numb himself with alcohol. This's makes me feel upset, really. Everybody would very much want somebody to love, care and be there for them. It's not by luck you've met someone you love. Not by chance. Is opportunity and the right time, right person. So, yeah he fell for the wrong person and this impacts him alot. Causing him to change for the worst. Hatred. Because of rejection, he became fearful and lose confidence in himself.

I feel hopeless. I wished i could help him but, well it takes time for a wound to recover. Or rather heal. It may or may not works but i guess what he needs right now is, friends, love and care. Sometimes, life leave us with no choices. Either you choose one or lose both. But both are important and unreplaccable... Still, you have to make a choice. But why we can't have both? Because life is unfair. So, making a choice between two is difficult. Headache ah.

Seeing him getting drunk and saying all those words. Sober thoughts to be exact. It just makes me feel upset and i start to think, people are the cause of hatred, betrayal and changes. Because of our selfishness, greedyness and being practical. We chose to hurt others in order to make ourselves happy. But, we forgot how much it would hurt the others and how much it would change the other's life, drastically/better.

Hope he's fine and he's a feiend that made me think through so much about life and people. Amazing. And, sometimes getting yourself drunk may help to forget your troubles (for a moment). But, when the drowsiness is over, the real moment you have to face, troubles again.

K, off to sleep. Bye, goodnight cupcakes. Xx

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2011-12-27T11:39:00.002+08:00

Changes.

Finally, did some changes on my blogger. Actually not much changes, removed my pic only. Lol.

K, i'm fucking pissed off with my iphone.

" CHARGING IS NOT SUPPORTED WITH THIS ACCESSORY. "

Knn i'm not using Nokia charger to charge my iphone whatttt. WTF, CCB. PEKCHEK AH.

DON'T TRIFLE ME I WONG (warn) YOU AH. CHEEZEPIE!

2011-12-26T23:33:00.003+08:00

Monday bluez. Urgh, feeling so tired and restless the whole day. After having few rounds of mahjong, i've conquered my bed @ 4am. Trying very hard to get my lazy ass of moi bed @ 12pm!

Was deciding whether to head out to town...And, i did. Lol. Town with Shannon again! Super broke, yet i bought a t-shirt from Mango. Lol. See, broke already diedie also must buy smth home. Zara again, wtf i saw my fav piece but...expensive ley! :( I WILL WORK AND SAVE MONEY, BUY YOU HOME WITH MOI!!!

K, photos. Some only, coz the rest ugly. Lol. Shit, hundreds of photos to be uploaded onto fb, but am lazy. Err tomorrow??? Hehe :P

Sometimes i wish, i could have someone whom treats me well and loves me more than i would.

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2011-12-25T23:16:00.001+08:00

Feliz Navida, Merry Christmas!

Yesterday, Christmas Eve! Had a great time at CHC, service was awesome! Especially the drama skit, love it. Everytime i went back for service, God never fails to touch my heart. His words and encouragement made me pulled through all the bad times and i feel much relieved each time God spoke to me. His words really enlightened me alot. Thanks you God, always being there for me. I know i can rely on You. Really hope i could have more time for Church and time with God. Wonder when will i have time for another service again! :(

Anyway, headed home after having dinner with shir. Wanted to have a bath and turn in early for the night but yeah i joined the girls and my bro downstairs! Had a great time, exchanged prezzie! Hehe ^^

And today, Christmas! Didn't went out. Dinner at tamp and over to Granny's house. And now... MAHJONG! MUAHAHAHA. Kbb! ^^
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2011-12-23T15:54:00.001+08:00

Just had a mouthful of noodles and i puked it all out. Was hungry yet after cooking a pack of noodle, no appetite. Having diarrhoea again and again. Urgh am i dying? Lol.

Anyway, hangover again. Can't believe i cried and got myself drunk because of you, again. I don't wish to but i just couldn't help myself.

My heart aches so much. I could feel the pain, two years ago. Exactly the same feeling.

Ytd, went past your house. Those memories, feelings and you came back to my mind. I don't understand why, i still couldn't get over it. No matter how bad you've treated me, i still forgive you time and time again. I hate you, hate the way you treat me but whenever i thought of the times we had spent and your goodness to me, it soften my heart. I hate myself for being so weak. Fuck. So i thought i've moved on, but i was wrong.

You're someone i really love and loved, you'll always be a part of me.

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2011-12-21T20:12:00.001+08:00

Iceskate @ Kallang leisure park ytd with Shirley, Jasmine, Alfred, Ernest and Daniel. Wtf fcking scary. Never will i go again. Geezus.

Aftermath, dinner @ Nex, Jieting joined us and Shirley left. Pastamania for dinner and played pool over @ Kovan. Yeah we walked from Nex Mall to Kovan. Omg. Back home at 11pm. Tibits and tv till 2am.

Practically, i spend my day at home, sleeping and watching tv. Rather boring. Planned to shop for Christmas/Birthday presents tmr. Maybe alone? Haha. Kbb, watch tv! ^^

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2011-12-20T00:35:00.001+08:00

SHORPINKKK!

Yay i've got my pay finally after working for two days! 175bux! Went town in the afternoon with Shannon, collected my pay &...YEAH SHORPINK! ^^

Hanged around at town for hours. Got a few apparels at Zara and Forever 21! Happygirl_92! Hehe. Wanted to get a top at Zara buttttt 60bux!!! Urgh, think am gonna get it another day then :( BUT I LUV THE TOP!!!!!! Forget it...... Head down to Bugis hunting for my shoe butttt, no loot! Home aftermath.

Anyway, managed to get my fav clothes too. Spent a bomb! Am left with 70bux after spending my pay. Urgh, really am a spenthrift tsk.

So, no job for the time being! Broke again. I guess the 70bux would be spent on liquor again. OH YA CHRISTMAS! Shit, no money buy Christmas present...

Well mum say, but chocolate or candies. Idea. Hahaha!

Gonna turn in for the night soon, had only 5hours of sleep ytd, caught a movie with ting and pat at dte! So, back home at dawn. As usual. And my legs are aching after the walk at town and bugis!

Goodnight! Xoxo

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2011-12-18T18:17:00.001+08:00

Tired. I need to take a break.

Once again, i heard your voice & somehow...i could feel the ache in me.

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2011-12-17T19:57:00.001+08:00

You left me with no choice. I hate to see you with her. But what else can i say or do?

I've had enough. Seriously. What's so good about her? Or there isn't anything good in me? I'm not and will never be good enough for you. Fuck.
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2011-12-16T23:24:00.001+08:00

There's nothing more to be said or done. Just let myself give you up and walk away on my own.

I'm sick and tired of these. I'll never wanna get myself drunk and see your face anymore... Cause you don't know how much it hurts.

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2011-12-14T22:06:00.001+08:00

All this while i was wasting, hoping you would turn around.

I guess i ain't good at words. I couldn't figure out what i really wanted and my feelings for you. Maybe i'm not perfect in love and i couldn't make the right choice. In the end, i'm the one getting hurt. You've got her, but i don't have anyone to rely on. Still, i'm alone.

Forget it, you'll never understand. I'm feeling a lil' hurt but it's alright, i'll try to sleep :')

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2011-12-14T01:02:00.001+08:00

Christmas is around the corners. How fast. That marks the end of 2011 and well, it's rather a happening year for me, i would say. Shall talk about it another day.

So christmas. Had no idea how to spend it. I wanted something special. I mean, i fantanize about it LOL. Spending the day with my boyfriend. APPARENTLY I DON'T HAVE ONE T___T So, i'll spend it with that special someone. Don't ask me who la, i also don't know. Anyway, back to the point yeah special someone.

I would have a dinner with him/have two cups of latte at starbucks/laughing thru'out our conversation/taking photos/strolling down the streets at town/hugsssss. Lol. Abit stupid but, i just wanted something sweet? Nvm, you don't get it one la. Aiya but bavk to reality, think i better stay home and rot.

Buttttt wait, peopleeee if you have any christmas party or plans? Jio me kk! I steady pompipi! ^^

K, i think i should just dream about it right now. Goodnight cupcakes, xx. -winks-

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2011-12-13T21:55:00.001+08:00

If you were to appear infront of me right now, i would hug you tightly.

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2011-12-13T15:10:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i get sick & tired of living and of what life have been giving me. Shits. We always couldn't have what we have wanted and was given what we didn't wanted. That's life. Whatever life have given to you, accept it.

So yeah, back in da morning after a night of pool, prawning, drinking, chit chats, talks and laughter @ haibin. Omg, i've lost my voice. Scream likea mad woman this morning. Had only 5 hours of sleep! :( Still, very very very tired. So, plans for today. Stay at home. Yay. LOL no choice coz i'm broke! :(

On a happier note, i've gotten a job. Yay! But well, had no idea what's the job about. Will be working @ MBS(:

I wanna club. Sian, kena grounded.. Worst thing that have ever happened to me on my holidays. T^T

I.........mysm.

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2011-12-12T01:48:00.001+08:00

Truth.

I've been sitting at the stone chairs for 2 hours. Stoning. Many thoughts went thru' my mind. Just so much. Listening to your fav songs, makes me miss every single tiny bits about you. Your silly jokes, laughters, smile, face. But i just don't understand, why is it you?

So i thought about it for days. No answer. You just came across my mind at times, unexpectedly. Really. I wished i know the reason why because i know you will never ever think of me. And, that fucking hurts.

Maybe everybody's right. Some things just wouldn't work it out right. No matter what, it just wouldn't. And, maybe somebody should teach me what to do right now?

Perhaps, everything's too late. This feelings were too late. Because. Somebody's gotten your heart before me. And, why does it hurt so much when you weren't mine to begin with? It.just.hurts.so.much.

Keep keep bleeding. Keep keep bleeding love. I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love...

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2011-12-12T01:36:00.001+08:00

KK Hospital with Dad, Mum and bro. Visit Baby Jonaz, he's sick :(

Went off to town aftermath. Met up with Rain, Jordy, William, Nigel, Pat, Colin, Justina, Xiang2 and Grace! Had dinner @ far east plaza, then cine for movie! Nasi Lemak, omg fucking funny laughed till i teared. LOL. Lucky plaza for pool, slacked @ *scape and back home!

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2011-12-10T22:41:00.001+08:00

Fake a smile so that he won't see.

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2011-12-10T01:45:00.001+08:00

I.......don't know how to carry on. I don't have the exact answer within me and i feel so fucked up inside me.

For the second time of my whole life, i feel like taking the jump and end everything that i've had. Too much for me to take it. Could somebody just fucking get me drunk?! I'll be much sober.

& again, why izit youuuuuuuuu? Argh geezus.

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2011-12-08T23:01:00.001+08:00

19 years of life, gone. What about my future?

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2011-12-07T21:09:00.001+08:00

19TH!

Had a simple yet meaningful birthday celebration today. I'm not after presents or any others but i just want to have a happy and simple birthday.

Had lunch @ Swensons with shirley, jasmine, jieting, ernest, marcus, junbin, kelvin, eric and yangzhi. Thanks for the treat and i'm so fucking bloated thanks to the birthday cake. Urgh! And omgggg so many unglam pictures taken! So i just posted a few, the nicer ones! Haha.

Well, i don't say it's a great one but rather a meaningful one. I'm thankful for every single one of you people's presence today! Thanks and i love you guys!<3

I can't really feel happy in me. Because...urgh idk how to express it into words but i do feel a lil' upset in me. Well, i guess i'll blog about it tmr. Just let me be happy for today.

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2011-12-06T16:40:00.001+08:00

Lost.

Tomorrow's my birthday. But i don't feel happy at all. And i don't know why. I want to be happy but i just couldn't.

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2011-12-05T19:28:00.001+08:00

Confused

K fucking hell, i feel so horrible inside me. Y'know the feeling? It's like urgh so tormenting! I want to know what i really wanted. But i just couldn't find the right answer to it.

When i'm with you, i feel so happy/comfortable/sweet. I just don't know how to describe the feeling but i just don't know why i'll feel this way. I SHOULDN'T LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!

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2011-12-05T10:39:00.001+08:00

Standard chartered run

This is before the event starts 1am

4.30am

2pm sunday. END.

Body aching like hell, can't even sleep well. Coz having a hard time turning left and right when sleeping, could only sleep in one position. Argh fuck.
And very well, i couldn't stretch my arms, even my back is itchy I CAN'T SCRATCH!!! I'm still deprived of sleep, badly.

Could somebody help me with my muscle aches?! If somebody were to hit me on my arm, i swear my bones would crack into pieces. I'm in pain~

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2011-12-03T18:23:00.001+08:00

MBK, again.

K, very well. I'm drunk. Hangover this afternoon when i've woke up. I looked like ghost in some of the photos but whatever la, don't see loh. Fucking tired. Only had 5 hours of sleep urgh.

What's worst? Standard chartered run late night later on. Of course i'm not running la duh, just volunteer to help out. Of course i didn't volunteered, an idiot submitted my name for the event. Cb.

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2011-11-30T01:50:00.001+08:00

Words.

Sometimes, i don't understand what's going through a boy's mind.
Those words that they've said, do they truly mean it? Or is it we (girls), have been thinking too much into their words?

I started to stray away from love. I just couldn't make myself to believe a man's word. Because all i'd met were, heartbreakers.

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2011-11-29T20:08:00.001+08:00

It's only on rainy days like today, makes me miss you even more.

And i just realized that you actually mean alot to me, more than i thought so.

But, do i mean anything to you?

Argh forget it..... I should just study for my test right now.

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2011-11-28T22:35:00.001+08:00

In life, not everything's within our control. Whatever life gives you, you just have to deal with it. Alone.

Why is it so hard to be happy and contented with life?

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2011-11-27T19:30:00.001+08:00

M1

Working! & i saw my cutie pie again! Omggg, i don't dare to ask for his name! :( BUT HE'S SO FUCKING CUTE!!!

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2011-11-26T22:57:00.001+08:00

No title.

Friday night!
Punggol pool and prawning with Justina, Colin, Gideon, Jordy and Nigel. Prawn till dawn with Jordy and Nigel! I fell asleep while waiting for them to prawn LOL. Then, took bus with Nigel back home @ 7am.

Saturday.
Slept for 5hours only and left for work @ IT FAIR. Damn tiring, wished i could sleep more. Worked with Jieting, Kim, YiDa and Mingkiat. Funny people! Enjoyed work because ____ working there too! Hehe! And i saw a cute guy, fucking cuteee! Hehe! But sad to say, tmr's last day of work! Should i ask for his name? Haha kidding. Anyway, so tired. Gonna sleep early tonight, omg i could see my eye bags and dark circles, so obvious! Omg, tmr am working from 10am till 9pm! T___T AM TIRED MAX, LEGS BREAKING!

Goodnight cupcakes!<3

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2011-11-25T00:08:00.001+08:00

Save me from all this shits.

Sometimes i feel that i could have live life better if i'm alone.

Because of all the heartbreaks caused me so much pain and hurt. It's not that i don't want to love anymore, but i just can't love. I'm afraid and sorry to say but i'm just fearful of getting hurt.
It's not just the tears but the pain and the scars left behind.

They say, leave the past behind and move on. But wait, who could have done it easily? How could you forget someone you really loved? Never ever. Nobody's could. And i could never do that too.

It's better to be alone. Then, you wouldn't get hurt. Why love? I just somebody that makes me happy. I just want to be happy.

God's unfair. I'm always the one getting hurt. I'm always the one having to give up. I'm always the one sacrificing. I'm always the one being stupid. I'm always the one whom fall for the wrong guy.

Life's shit, really shit.

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2011-11-23T19:42:00.001+08:00

Study.

S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D

Tired. Tired of school. Recetly, I feel so stressed out and tired out easily. I'm afraid i can't do well for my exam on friday. I wanna study but y'know i just don't have the mood, the motivation and the energy to study. I tried to force myself but, before i even study, my brain's already on sleeping mode. I just sleep my time away instead of studying How???!!! I can't take this anymore!

Having work tmr at the IT fair, gonna give etp a miss. Tired. But i'm fucking desperate, for money! :(

I............ -don'tknowwhattosaybutmixedfeelings-

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2011-11-22T18:52:00.001+08:00

Too much.

Haiiiiiiiii, lol. Actually i don't know how to start blogging but anyway hi! Err school's boringdieme. Seriously. Life's so meaningless and boring.

Exams are approaching soon. To be exact, first paper's on friday. Shag. Up till now, my WFB like cui only. Why can't i write fluently and good?!?! I think i'm far away from my A! And, i don't think i have much time left, so am gonna burn midnight oil again! As usual, always last minute studying. But thia time round, i guess i've to be more hardworking and put in extra effort! If only my english is good lol.

Worst of all, am working at IT FAIR on thurs, sat and sun. Gonna give school a miss on thurs, like duh~ Hopefully i could have more time to study for fridays' exam! Need to study everything before thursday! Which means i'm left with two days :( God bless meeeeee!

Feeling so tired right now but i need to study!!!!!!!! Argh, my right shoulder hurts, thanks to ernest who gave me a punch. Laugh till i cry lol. Forget it, shall study~

Goodbye, xoxo.

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2011-11-20T23:42:00.001+08:00

LOVE.

I've always been alone all these while. I could hardly remember. Remember the last person i fall in love with. Remember the last person i've ever held hands with. Remember the smiles he had. Remember all the goods in him. Remember all the sweet nothings he have said to me. Remember the phone calls and long text messages. Remember him. Remember me. Remember us. Remember the reason we've broke up. I can't remember. It was all too painful to remember that all good things would eventually come to an end.

Who doesn't want to be with the one they love? Have someone to dote, love and care for?

It's been two years, two long years. I thought i'm not good. I thought i'm too lousy. All the reasons to bring myself down. Through this two years, nothing has changed. And i start to believe that i'm really that bad in love. I'm never good enough for anybody. There's nothing good in me. I should change, but would it really help? I doubt so. Because i am never good enough for myself, let alone for anyone else.

It's alright. I've been learning how to live, eat, laugh and sleep alone. Two years, two years...

I've come to a point of time when, i've totally lose faith and hope with the affairs of the heart. It was all too tiring, heartbroken, hurt, heartwrenching and sorrowful for me.

Why love? Why not love? Because i can't take it anymore. Really am tired and hurt.

Xx.

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2011-11-20T15:27:00.001+08:00

MBK!

LAST NIGHT OVER @ MBK! With shirley, jieting, marcus, daniel, isaac and ben. What a night, look at da photos!

Some of the photos were taken when i'm drunk and that explains my drunkard red face. My face......drunk like shit. LOL forget it lah, cui then cui loh. Drunk, luckily didn't merlion HAHAHA!

Woke up in the afternoon and wtf hangoverrrrrrr again. Head spinning likea disco ball, lol! Having sore throat and headache! What's worst? Feverrrrrrrr omg! Totally restless.

Gonna bathe and study later on. Play hard, study doubly hard!

Xoxo.

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Location:Rivervale Dr,Singapore,Singapore

2011-11-19T00:00:00.001+08:00

TGIF!

Only me and shirley, LOL coz the rest of da peepo camera shy. Lolol HAHAHAHA!

FUCK YEAH!
Thank God the week is done, i feel like a zombie gone back to life, back back to life! Hands up!

Another unproductive day, late for school as usual. CDN was like shit, need some self revision seriously! And still, haven't start revision... Anyway, sch ended @ 11am! Woots.

Headed to punggol haibin to prawn with shirley, jasmine, ernest and marcus! Daniel joined us later @ 4pm! Not much catches today, but enjoyed ourselves. Enjoyed the breeze, the rain and small chats as usual! So, yeah pool again! Our daily routine, school and pool centre. What a life!

Hom-ed @ 10pm, tio kan LOL. Alamak hopefully tmr i'm able to sneak out hehe! *winkz I WANNA CLUB! :( Gonna turn in for the night right now, tired max!

Tatas LOL. Goodnight xoxo.

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2011-11-17T23:10:00.001+08:00

Fucking hell! I keep saying i wanna study on my own everyday after school. But....ended up playing pool everyday after school -____- Wtf. Really shit. I'm only left with two weeks till exams, holy cow. Fucking two weeks! Yet no sense of urgency at all. Shag. I really wanna study but i don't why i just don't have the heart and determination. I feel like i'm deproving and useless. I fucking did the 5 letters and ended up failing like shit....... What is this?! Why am i getting such bad results? Or am i just being too over-confident of myself? Fuck laaaaaaaa!

And right now, weekends are approaching. Despite being so broke, i still wanna go town shopping -___- Wtf. Seriously, anybody have any jobs? Intro ley please. Going back to Mcdonalds' is my last resort and i don't want either... Urgh, i'm trying to save money but...only 10bucks ley! And, tmr i'll end up spending it away on prawning. MY GOD, this is so &@!%#%! URGH!

Goodnight. Bad day. Hope that tomorrow would be better.

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2011-11-16T16:39:00.001+08:00

SCHOOL!

Recent photos taken. Gonna post the others another when i've sorted all the photos out!

Have been rather busy recently and didn't realized that exams are approaching. Get serious and studying CC!

Haven't been hanging out with Rain & co. recently and things just went bad... How to turn everything right? I miss you guys :(

Sad day, rainy day :(

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2011-11-15T21:35:00.001+08:00

What a day.

See that?! So, the pool tournament is over. Fucking stress and nervous shit i swear. Miraculously, my team got 2nd place. Major LOL, epic. It was purely luck i guess? But, atleast my skills imporved abit ley haha so not that bad anyway. Still, hard to believe...

K, exams approaching. I'm dead meatz. Need to study for sure and seriously i've no confidence in scoring A for all of my modules. Suck balls, don't understand teacher's teaching and the book. He's rushing thru' the book and talking in a mono tone. Can't seems to understand what he's teaching and he just fucking don't let me highlight and take down important points from his slides. Cb, kan guailan. Gosh, someone save me from these shits?
He's driving me mad and really getting on my nerves. Be glad that i didn't fall asleep as much as i do feel like. Feel so vexed. Sigh, can anyone tutor me?! Fuck me life!

Forget it, watch tv more important. Eh cannot lah, study. But...tv's so tempting. Err, tmr then start studying lah, LOL!
╯︿╰

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2011-11-14T22:54:00.001+08:00

Act cute.

Moanday bluezzz! Feeling so tired, stressed out and muddle-headed at the start of the week.

Argh. School was supposed to start at 10am, i woke up at 7.30am thinking that schoold starts at 8am -___- Wtf am i thinking seriously. Timetable also lazy check. So i spent my morning over @ kfc, breakfast, study WFB and nua.

Right now i'm fucking lazy to continue. Well, i'm dead beat and i need some sleep.

Tmr will be better, oh wait! I HAVE POOL TOURNAMENT... I don't know how to play, i bet i'll be a laughing stock man. Argh, this's nervous shit & fuck meeeeeeee! :(

Goodnight xx

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2011-11-13T22:03:00.001+08:00

NEVERLAND.

Some overdue photos, over at Neverland. Well, it's been a week since i've last went drinking. Yay, that should be the way. Butttt, i miss clubbing! Hopefully next week over at Rebel/Zirca. Welllll, i'm fucking broke. Need to save money, really. Think about it it's been a long time since i've went town to shop. Okay save money and then shopping, anyway anybody have jobs to intro? In need of a job and money! Thanks.

Just came back from chalet in the afternoon. Dead beat. Had loads of fun and am mad tired. Shag, hate sunday night cause monday morning comes after :( Dread school! I could barely open my eyes and study for ofa letter writting, urgh!

Goodnight, xx

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2011-11-11T05:24:00.002+08:00

Hai, morning. Couldn't sleep. Not because it's 11/11/11. But rather, i hate today. I'm feeling so tired yet i just couldn't get to sleep. Fucked up right? Really am, this feeling sucks. I just couldn't rest and many things kept running thru' my mind.

Was otp with shir, yeah we talked alot. Nearly 3hours. Yet, i couldn't really express my feelings and thoughts out. I thought maybe someone out there could really Understand how i feel but, there's none. Tehy say, ask yourself for the answers, noone knows yourself better than you do. The truth is, i don't know what i want, who i like, why am i so vexed.

I like you, all along. For almost 1year or so. I'm just tired of waiting. It's like waiting for a rain in a drought. So , i asked myself this: Do you think we can make it happen? And right now my answer is i don't know. I've never thought that before. I just like you. Whether we're together or not, it doesn't matter. Really it doesn't matter. I don't have to know what's your answer or feelings. All these while, you know i like you. Thanks for letting me like you for so long. Thanks. Despite that, you still care for me. Sometimes, you would talk to me and care about me and that really matters alot to me. Atleast i know that you care for me and that's enough. Maybe the feeling isn't as strong as before but you're still the one i like. Yeah. For this, i'm sure.

Life's really unfair. You can't get what you want. And what you get may not be what you actually wanted. And what you wanted may not be what you wanted eventually. Nobody know's who you'll end up with in future. Anything could happen, unexpectedly. One thing about life is, you'll never know what's next.

I hate God. Hate him for not giving me what i want and not giving me the best. For these fucking 18years, all i get was bullshit from love. Betrayal. Lies. Delusions. Hurt. Scars. Tears. What else?! Studies, parents always see me as lousy, stupid, playful. Yeah my results are like shit and i'm in ite. You don't know how much your words hurt. Fuck you. Ite, i wanna give up my studies because i just don't believe i would actually ended up in ite. Laugh at me la. I laugh at myself too. So, i wante to prove my parents wrong, i wanna study hard. Yeah i did it, 3.8gpa. And still parents feel that i should just stop studying after ite and work. Am i that useless? Or what? I'm lousy, i'm stupid, i'm never good enough to be anyone. I'm useless really. Friends. I don't have many and i don't need many. One is enough is maybe being alone is even better. Nobody really understands. I don't even understand myself, so why would i need a friend.
Seriously, i had enough. Why am i always having to go thru' such craps. I really had enough. I'll never expect anything from life, becaude all i get was disappointments and shits.

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2011-11-09T20:47:00.001+08:00

11:11, this friday.
Everybody's looking forward to this very special date of this day. Like, spending your time with your loved ones? Hoping that you could be with the someone you like/love? Confessing to the someone you like/love? All about love. Well, for me? I hope i could spend it with someone special.

I just realized, it's been nearly two years and i'm single. Yes i do have someone i like, a year or so. Sometimes, i asked myself why can't have someone i love and he love me too? I thought, i'm used to being alone all these while but i found out that actually i don't like being alone. I really hope i could have someone that loves me, care for me and be there for me. Hard to find. Am sick of everything. Always trying to keep things inside myself because i hate to cry. A blink of eyes, a year's going to pass by and i guess for christmas, 2012, valentines, chinese new year and april fool i'll still be alone.

Life really sucks. You don't get what you want and that's life. No matter how hard you've tried to fight for the things you want, you still can't have it. Fuck. Did i fall for the wrong one? Because we're not meant to be? Am i supposed to wait? Should i give up? They say, good things are worth the wait. How long more? I just get what i deserved. Fuck, one last time and i'm gonna give up.

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2011-11-09T12:30:00.001+08:00

Winkz

Sometimes God doesn’t give you what you think you want, not because you don’t deserve it, but because you deserve better.

<3<3<3

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2011-11-08T22:24:00.001+08:00

After a long break.

After thinking for a long time, yeah i've decided to blog again. So, i bought the blogpress app and blog with my iphone. Yay! Anywhere, anytime i could blog and i could recall the times whereby i would blog out my feelings like in the past.

Recently, life's tired. Really tired. How i wish i could take a break, a long long longgggg break from everything. I always thought that i coud handle all the emotions myself, no matter how tough it is,
I know i'm able to get over with it and move on with life. But, i've been trying so hard to surpress all the emotions and feelings in me. So much so that i wanna burst it all out for once. If only someone out there could feel how i feel.

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2011-09-02T16:17:00.002+08:00

Wake me up when September ends.

So, it's September. How fast time flies and my attachment is coming to an end. Which is today. Now i know how does it feels like working full-time in the logistics industry. 8.30am-5.30pm daily except weekends. It was, one word - hell. Really, it sucks. I've never feel so stress and fucked up with work at all, until i got this damn job. It was totally, hell.

So, what have i learned? One mistake caused = fired. Seriously, one damn fucking mistake made and i got scolded like wts?! And fyi, it wasn't my fault. Really sucks. I started to regret taking up this damn course, like seriousfuckingly! You wouldn't understand how fucking stress, tiring and really worn out because of this damn attachment. I realized, how much i love school lol.

I tell myself this : Eh CC, wake up lah! Get your ass back to school and study hard. Study till you die also don't wanna work especially in this industry! Lol. Working seriously sucks. And, what about when i get into poly and i'm studying this course....another attachment -__- Damn it, but i don't wanna study a new course AGAIN from scratch... Haiyah, i feel so...confused? Wtv lah, sian. Just let me die lol.

Knvm, today's the last day of work so CC, you must be happy and enjoy this September to payback all your sleep that you're deprived of and wake up at the end of September.

Really sia, i think my face likea...cui because of this attachment. My life seems to be so boring and meaningless. Sigh, really. BUT NVM LA ATTACHMENT OVER ALREADY. TIME TO SLEEP AND GET A FACIAL WASH LOL.

2011-08-26T10:46:00.004+08:00

(≧o≦) YAY IT'S FRIDAY! ^~^V
HAHAHA, super kwet right but i think abit act cute when i keep using it. Keke. But, it's too kwet! Anyway, it's friday and there's no reason for me to look so grumpy or sad. Not to mention, it's week 9 and next week is the last week of my attachment! Keke, happy {◕ ◡ ◕}
And, yeah tmr's Saturday oh yeah! Going Church, gonna thank God for this wonderful week i had, thank God! Yonghe's birthday chalet tmrw (*＾▽＾*) Super eggcited hehe!
Well, gonna have steamboat over at Justina house later on, hmm sort of lazy. AND, WTF TODAY RAINED AND URGH I JUST FEEL LIKE SKIPPING WORK! (>.<)

You got my heart, boy.

KBai2, gonna finish my damn log book, again..... ب_ب

2011-08-26T10:34:00.006+08:00

kwet emotions ^~^V

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p(*＾-＾*)q

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2011-08-23T16:38:00.003+08:00

Omnomnom

Err, just finished off a packet of snacks, waiting for time to pass by and trying to keep myself awake meanwhile. K another 50minutes....
Argh, damn sleepy and having flu right now in the office. Omg, kill me pl0x! Anyway, yay counting down to the end of my misery! Woots, another 1234567 days only! Gonna party like there's no tomorrow! K i'm so damn lazy to continue alr. Err, no pics for now. Maybe after my attachment? Hehe :>

2011-08-19T16:34:00.002+08:00

FML.

Every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every months I'm counting down to the end of attachment. It's true, i h8 attachment alot, beyond than what you guys actually think. Argh, because it just sucks. If i can study till i die, i don't mind man. Seriously, i rather study luh! Why must i have attachment?! Bloodyhell

Imagine, working every single day (except weekends) from 9am to 5pm. See you eh tahan anot loh. Facing your supervisor everyday, kena scolded for no reasons. And, seriously you'll see how many fucktards trying to bootlick the boss. #Eeeee Damn disgusting. I just cannot take it anymore already, everyday facing shits.

All those fucking reports are getting on my nerves i swear. Like wtf la, powerpoint slides, report and my damn log book..... Never been so stress before and i started to loathe worklife in this industry. I rather work at Mcdonalds, true! LOL

Walan eh, i really cannot tahan already. If attachment gonna extend, wtf just kill me or let me commit sucide la! Because of this attachment, i feel so damn worn out, like really. Drastic. Haggard. Stress. Angry. Fuck la! And, i guess i won't get an A for this attachment either, it's like...i give up on my studies already la. I just wanna give up. I'm not gonna care about my grades already. I need to take a break. Deprived of sleep, badly! Once my attachment's over, I'M GONNA PARTY AND WHO CARES ABOUT THE RESULT LAAAAAAAAAAA. DAMNIT!

Irritating ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, worst days of my damn life ahhh i swear

Klah, counting down to end of my bad days............. ANOTHER TWO MORE WEEKS. -'-

2011-08-17T14:27:00.004+08:00

Ignorance.

Err, it's been a week since i've updated. Nothing much either, was rather busy with attachment and ohya, another two more weeks to go! Omg, it would be a pain relief for me once my attachment ends. Urgh, attachment is just so tiring. Thinking of my report...log book...powerpoint slides....... Zzz Kill me plox T.T Rushing thru everything like mad sia, really endless things to be done.

Yay, last Saturday 13th Aug was City Harvest 22nd Anniversary! Woots. Enjoy my service alot, really so glad that i was able to make it in time! God really spoke to me, right to my mind, my heart. Recently many things just happened too abruptly, people comes and goes but life still goes on. Pastor Cho was awesome. Really enjoyed the sermon altho it's kinda long but it's really a great honor to have Pastor Cho, "Believe that you're healed, let the poor be rich, let the weak say they're strong" God, thank you for giving me the strength to continue walking, i always believe that you're here with me. "You died again and again in our heart and resurrected again and again, you didn't died once but many a times for us." - Pastor Cho. Thank you Lord, for always being here for me despite having to go thru these difficult times. And i don't deny i often whine how difficult life is for me, but God you made everything possible. Thank you. No words could describe how much you meant to me. I'm glad that i chose to return to your home, because you made my life much better and you taught me, to stay strong and believe in you more and much more. God. ♥

Right now i just want my attachment to be over ASAP, just so damn tiring. Kla, feeling so sick yet need to work T.T Kbai2, need to finish up my log book alr. .______.

Xoxo.

2011-08-08T10:47:00.002+08:00

BOMBERMAN'S 19TH.

SATURDAY, Astons for dinner with Bomberman (MARCUS), shirley, jasmine, alfred, ernest, patrick, adrian, daniel and junbin! > Chit chat session. It's been long since we had a gathering, glad that everybody's doing fine lately. Was damn tired on Saturday. Rushing like mad only. Packed schedule and all the birthdays lately just makes me feel super worn out. Feel like i'm going to break down anytime. Like seriously. Dinner was awesome, rather enjoyable HAHAHA. Photos on fb, just go look at it. Look kinda tired that day, so some photos like so unglam lol WHATEVER.

Esplanade at late night with bomberman (MARCUS), shirley, patty and daniel. LOL, epic fail uh Marcus...........DRUNK AGAINZ. Seriously, loser sia he. Vomitted all over after few drinks. Weak ah ni. Lol.
Couple of drinks, yknow..........broke down literally. H8 you, h8 how you fucking walk into my life, made me feel like i'm your everything and you just fucking walk away, without saying a word. Just literally walk away. Fuck you. I thought you're different from all the other guys i know, but what i thought wasn't what you are. Disappointed. But, it taught me. Taught me not to make someone your everything and fall so deep. Ended up, getting hurt like a fucking bitch and crying like a whore. Fuck you. Save up your explanations because all are excuses. You're selfish, you just fucking leave me alone to clear up all the mess. Fuck you. You're a jerk, save all your sweet talks to another fucking dumbass girl. Fuck you. Feel so much better after crying and I don't love you. We're plainly making use of one another to get over our exs, we know. If we were to walk past each other someday down the streets, i wouldn't even look at you again. Not even a glance.

See, i met another jerk again. This time, i realized it was just a joke HAHAHA. Had a good laugh. I'm not upset after that night because i sort all my thoughts out. I cried because i h8 the feeling of having someone and next moment i just lose that someone. Who doesn't feel so? But, afterall we didn't even started. All started with a fucking "hi" and ended up .....-walksawaypretendance- We all know it's nothing new but purely dumb. Bye, never want to see your face. Okay, yay back to my own life, because of you, my routine kinda fucked up. I don't need someone who's half there or not even there for me when i need that someone. I rather be alone and i see nothing's wrong about it. Moving on.

2011-08-08T10:29:00.004+08:00

Jiekai's 15th.

Happy 15th birthday JieKai! Okay, happy birthday to you! Hope you enjoyed yourself last night and be happy k! Thanks for being there for me always, appreciate it much. Even though i didn't really tell you how i feel but i'm thankful for you all this while! Really love having you around yeah! Happy birthday k, love you ♥

Mahjong ytd afternoon, yay didn't lose! Haha, surprisingly much because it's been a long time since i've played. Guess, it was just purely luck. Rushed home aftermath, prepared and rushed down to White Sands, headed over to downtown! Met up with JieKai and ya chalet. Lol, kinda bored but was having talks so hehe yeah! Home-d at 12am. Damn tired~

2011-08-08T10:25:00.001+08:00

Remember when.

I remember it all. I remember what shirts you wore, I remember the first text you sent to me. I remember your laughter, your smell. I remember every feeling I felt, I remember all the hopes I had, I remember everything I gave up. I remember how my life changed, I remember the things you said. I remember your shy smile but I loved it more than anything else. I remember the way your face looked so close to mine. I remember everything about you; your perfect hair and your gorgeous face and the way you could never do anything wrong. But I also remember the last day, the last text. I remember all the tears I cried, I remember feeling worthless, I remember waiting by my phone for a text that never came. I remember the lack of explanation, I remember being shoved away like I never meant anything to you at all. I remember feeling used and broken and like nobody understood, especially not you. I remember wondering how you could know everything about me, how I could give you every single piece of me and still not be enough for you. I remember each thing that made me smile, and each thing that made me cry. I remember thinking about you, dreaming about you, and wishing for you. I remember believing with all my heart that it would happen, expecting forever, and having my forever cut short. I remember drifting away from you, and drifting back to this relationship we like to call a friendship. But you and me, we can never be friends. There’s always been something more in the way we look at each other, and you know it. So here I am, looking at you, feeling all the emotions I’ve always felt when I look at you. I know we can never have back what we had before, but maybe we can start something new. I love you. And I remember. Tell me you remember, too.

2011-08-05T15:02:00.003+08:00

Yay, i got my iphone4. Lol, actually okay ley. Not very happy or what. Most troublesome of all, I NEED TO SAVE MY CONTACTS ONE BY ONE! Wtf, when you have over 200 contacts... Argh, troublesome leyz!

Ohyeah, it's FRIDAY. Ohhahaha, awesome. Heading to Bugis at night, yay shopping! How funny it is, keep complaining tired yet still wanna go shopping. Lolol. Just need to shop la, too stress. And tomorrow would be a longggggggg dayyyyyyyy. Gonna give Church a miss, again. Well, because.... I tell you uh.
2.30pm - Collect bursary YAY, $1000! Don't rob me! Lol
5pm - Kim's 21st birthday~
7pm - Town, MarcusBitch's birthday~
SEE, where got time? T.T
But, CHC's 22nd anniversary will be there for sureeeeeeee, hehe!

Alrightttt, update again~ Baibai! ^^ *winkwink*

2011-08-02T15:38:00.004+08:00

Why must we cry everytime we say goodbye?

You know how hurting it is, each time you ignores me. Even though i'm unhappy, i must act like i'm not. Why am i doing all these to myself? Don't get it.

I thought I knew you. But you proved me wrong. At the end of it all, the only one I can depend on is myself. I keep telling myself, maybe I shouldn’t ask for so much. But in reality, it really isn’t all that much. If you say you’re going to do something, follow through with it. Don’t leave me hanging because of some excuse. I don’t want to hear it. If you make a promise, keep it. If you know you can’t keep it, don’t make that promise. It’s as simple as that.

Please, go away. If you don't intend to stay then please leave. But, don't fucking turn your head back and look back. Because i know i can't bear to see you go. Wtf, it's like you came into my life, give me hope and then leave as and when you like. Fuck you. You just fucking say "iloveyou" Please, don't say it when you don't mean it. Because i'll be so stupid to just believe it. I really don't know what or who to believe anymore. So, if you want to leave then by all means ok. Sian alr, i don't want to hear all your fucking lame excuses. IRRITATING MUCH! You'll never know how much it hurts.

#Notgonnafuckingtrustanyone

2011-07-29T14:42:00.005+08:00

BEEEECCCCAAAAUUUUSSSSEEEE
IIIIIIII
AAAAMMMMM
BBBBOOOORRRREEEEDDDDD
!!!!!!

Thinking of changing my blog template but, lazy to edit it. Maybe someday, lol. Currently, am feeling so sleepy that i wished i could hide inside the toilet and sleep. Sian ley, another three hours then end work. H8 waiting, time just pass so slow.

Ohya, today's friday! Like finally, i wanna sleep for the next two consecutive days. BUT, i'm having church on Sat and out with shir on Sun. Ahhhh, you see! My weekends, ruined. The following week's gonna be damn packed with birthdays. Omgawd, i dread and love the most. I'll be super worn out by those fun and laughters. Why, why my weekends only two days? T.T

Lazy to upload pictures because my comp sucks. I mean my office desktop okay. My lappy's much better than this uh -.- And, attachment's getting boring, everyday facing bangalas. Waaaaa, and my office like some kind of run down lanshop, seriously. Omgawd laaaaa, see all those files lying around the floors, bangalas walking in and out and worst of all the comp... JI LAG YI XIA!

Everyday late for work, damn tired like seriously, not enough of sleep. Worst of than school man! Actually, it's because i'm busy watching drama every night. Eh, it's nice okay and it's not boring at all. I can just rot at home whole day and holding onto the tv remote control and switch channels. HAHAHA, like so relaxing only and it's entertaining what! And, so many nice dramas ley recently and all are broadcast late at night -.- So, that's why i'm always late for work...

Omgawd, need to endure another 5 more weeks... I'M GOING INSANE SOON, OMGAWD! H8 it, every morning need to drag myself out of my bed and chase after buses -.- Damn, h8 my work life right now. Making me so worn out everyday, i'm like getting more haggard as days goes by! Seriously, i cannot take it alr sia. I rather re-study my whole year of books than continue with this fucking attachment! Damn angry likea !!#!$@%#!@! AHHHHHH, return me my books and my sleeeeeeeeeeep! :(

I want a shoulder to lie on, a listening ear to talk to, a pair of warm hands to hold me and a heart to...

I just want my sleep, nothing else.

Xoxo

2011-07-28T11:09:00.002+08:00

This feeling sucks. I don't know how to describe it. I'm just tired and sick of everything. Just do what it deems fit you. I'm not gonna care anymore. I hate those texts we had recently. So cold. I just hate it. Maybe it's nothing to you. Or maybe i'm being too bothered about it. After seeing all those sluttish fetish going on. I feel like strangling you. I'm seriously speechless. I hate the way you're treating me right now. You're tired. So am i. Leave if you want. I won't hold you back. You're different i thought. But what you think it's not what you get. You get it?

2011-07-27T14:07:00.003+08:00

...

I don't know how to carry on. Tired and clueless on what to do. Maybe just leave things as it is, for now? You're busy with studies and for me, attachment. We don't even have much time to keep each other accompany as for now.

Urgh, monday to friday = work. As for weekends, saturday making time for Church and God. I'm only left with Sunday to spend with you and my friends.

& worst of all, everytime last minute plans would fuckedup, pissed off ley! Upcoming month, busy-like-a-bee loh, birthdays and outings. Sian, i don't even have enough time for God. I feel bad, each time i promise myself to attend Church weekly but, damn it everytime last minute outings or birthdays! I don't even know what to do! So, how am i going to spend time with him? MSN? Fb chat? Urgh, we stay so near also no time to meet up -.-

So, i think about it for a looooooooonnnnnggggggggg time and we agreed to it. You'll just get busy with your school and me with my work. But, will never forget about one another still. Maybe we'll drift apart or closer, i don't know? If it's meant to be then so be it right? I don't know why i feel such way, but it's true. If we could pass this test of time, we'll make it together in the end.

But somehow a part of me feels kind of upset? Because, you know words just gets lesser between us. I don't know to make it right. I don't know how to make us feel right too. Maybe i shouldn't care too much since we've made a pact between us. I trust you and i want you to be happy too.

Xoxo.

2011-07-25T15:59:00.004+08:00

Heart aches.

I don't need someone like you. Half there for me and away at times. What do you treat me as? I know i might get a little tensed up at times. But, i did everything because i care. Ok, maybe it went a lil way too overboard? I'm sorry? I don't understand why things landed up in this manner. Tell me what's wrong? I know you're busy with studies and everything, yeah i understand. But your attitude is like, 360degree changed. Maybe you don't sense it at all, yeah you're tired i know. So, i didn't wanted to bother you either. But, why out of sudden things turned out like this? I don't get it. Seriously, i tried my best to make things right but things seems to turn out even worst.

One whole day, we can go without a text. Yeah, how cool? I just hope you're fine and we'll turn out okay soon, i'm not trying to probe into every matter and problems you're facing right now. I just wanna know that you're fine, that's it. You texted me, saying you're fine. Obviously you ain't. Trying to ask you what happen, you just say you're tired. In the end, "goodnight". Last night you said you're missing your ex, okay and then how do want me to react? I mean, i know i can't help much but atleast listen to you but you just said "it's okay..." Everytime i try to be there for you, you just push me away. What is this shit? If you're not over your ex then get her back, IF you think she's worth it. If not tell me what we should do. I don't wanna stand here doing nothing and i know you're feeling bad too. Atleast make a decision now. I don't want to stand here alone and waiting and waiting. Please, stop leave me hanging there? I'm feeling upset so who can i pour my woes to? You? Yeah, you said i could count on you. But, where are you now? I hate it, i hate you for leaving me alone when i need somebody to talk to and rely on. I can't stand all your cold replies anymore. Ya, you're tired, me too. "Iloveyou" - please take it back, not for now. Sian, i really don't know what to do already. Tell me what should i do? How to?

It's so torturing and i don't like it at all. Are you there for me? What do you mean when you said i love you. You say, it's for real. Okay, i trust you and i always do. But, why it seems like you're trying to prove it otherwise? Urgh, damn vexed lah. I don't even know what to do right now. Supposingly, everything was on the track and right now? Argh, everything's not right...

I pray to God, i got no answers.
I flip through the bibles for answers, i got no clues.
I asked myself, i don't even know how to carry on.
I wanna ask you, but i don't expect any answers from you though.

Wtf la, i need to see a psychiatrist.

2011-07-20T13:38:00.002+08:00

When you lost someone completely, you’d start to realise or rather to compare that how good it was to have him around, he’d care so much about you and do so much for you. And when he’s gone everything’s gone.

2011-07-19T11:03:00.002+08:00

Okay seriously, need to vent it out.

Finally i found the right words from my heart. Yeah, idk why i'm so attracted to you? Maybe, it's because you're the one who woke me up from my nightmare. It's been a year since i've broke up with him and feeling kinda numb or rather don'tevencare about relationships. Maybe, i'm too afraid to get hurt or i'm afraid to lose somebody again. That feeling, sucks. Had a hard time finding my way out until i've met you. Though it's just a short week, but somehow i feel so attached to you. You know, a kind of feelings -whichidkwhatyetbecauseicouldn'tdescribehowi'mfeelingtoo- That night, the feeling was so strong when we've parted, just couldn't bear to leave. You make me feel so hopeful and feel love again. I'm feeling so frightened right now, i couldn't imagine myself experiencing love again and thinking about what happened in the past just makes me so afraid..

It's like..
I wanna be with you but i'm afraid of losing you. I wanna tell you how i feel but i'm afraid you don't feel that way too. People say, go for it. Follow your heart, don't regret. I also kn0w, but i can't find an answer in me. So confusing. A part of me wanna be with you, yet another part of me am afraid. I also don't know what i'm afraid of laaaaa, wtf? I know you meant what you said but still i feel kinda uneasy still. Argh, everything also scared like that, mad de. Don't even know what the shit i'm afraid of and why am i so worried over nothing?
Maybe, shouldn't rush things through. HMMM

Sianz, really very vexed sia.
I'm not being myself at all, so paranoid and keep thinking too much. Urgh, i don't wanna think this way but somehow i couldn't help it.

Omggggg, this's driving me insane. Think best for now is to stop thinking.
I must not be so in love with you as yet. I must not think so much. I must not let my heart take control of my mind. I must not let myself down again. I must not keep thinking of you. I must not hurt you. I must not must not must not!

How can you say you love me? I mean why do you even feel this way?

2011-07-18T09:26:00.003+08:00

THAT NIGHT TO REMEMBER.

I could remember that very special night, friday 15th. It wasn't a starry night, but there's you. We sat at a bench, enjoying the breeze and talk almost anything and everything. I could remember your blushing red face, mad adorable. I love the way you look into my eyes, i couldn't help but turnaway and blush. I love the way you made me laugh. I love the way you smile. I love the moment when we've parted, we just couldn't bear to leave. I wish that night would last longer and our conversation would continue and never ends. I guess, it's love. And, i really fall for you. Thanks baby for the night.
Maybe you'll read this hopefully? Thanks baby.

2011-07-14T13:09:00.002+08:00

Time check: 1:21pm

Was supposed to be out for lunch alr but, i'm not hungry. Actually i have quite a sum of airway bills to be done but i'm likeeeeeeeeeeee...sian sia, gonna doze off anytime. Somehow, i'm fearful of work attachment. Very sian one ley i tell you, LOL. 10 WEEKS, log book updated daily + weekly report for log book + 40pages of Report (MINIMUM) + Powerpoint presentation of 20slides (MINIMUM) = HELL. Zomg, i can really faint uh. I hate doing powerpoint slides because...I'MMA COMP IDIOT, WTF? Seriously, why would i choose this damn course in the first place, urgh mad crazy! Everyday i'm like whining but can't help it because these 10weeks are like hell for me, worst of all IT'S ONLY THE 3RD WEEK! @#@$@!#%%&^@#!@

Okay la, get back to work alr. Tonight gonna rush through some works and getting some stuffs! I can't wait for weekends to comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, but i'm gonna be goddamn busy. Why this month so busy, so many birthdays and i'm brokeeeeeeeeeee :( No photos for now luh, no mood to upload any. Maybe next week? Till then.

2011-07-13T11:22:00.002+08:00

Words.

Men are like:

Laxatives - they irritate the crap out of you.
Weather - nothing can be done to change them.
Blenders - you need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
Chocolate Bars - sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Commercials - you can’t believe a word they say.
Departmental Stores - their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Government Bonds - they take so long to mature.
Mascara - they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Popcorn - they satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Snowstorms - you never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it will last.
Lave Lamps - fun to look at, but not very bright.
Parking lots - all the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Got this from tumblr. LOL. Can't stop laughing and i don't know why.

Some girls would get carried away by those sweet talkings, guys are good at it. Think girls are always so naive and gullible. Everytime i see my friends havin g quarrel with their bf/gf. Ended up, one party would be soft-hearted and forgives. You know people are selfish, they always expect the others to give and love more instead. But, why can't we learn to give and take too? To maintain a relationship is not easy, trust and mutual-understandiing are important but firstly, learn to share. You can't always expect your partner to give in to you each time and take him/her for granted. Learn to give and take, don't be so selfish and take him/her for granted
.
" Learn to cherish before something/someone is gone. Never take him/her for granted." People knows, yet it still happens and regrets came in. You'll never know how much someone means to you when he/she is gone. That's the moment when everything's too late to be done or said. Life's unpredictable.

Life, oh life. Tiring, everyday seems like a fixed routine.But, rather contented with life right now. Hope everyday will get better :D HMMM, I just want my attachment to be over soon. :(

2011-07-11T11:16:00.003+08:00

Monday berry bluez

Okay, monday bluez. Shag uh, beginning of the week. So, it's week threeeeeeee, omg another 7weeks. I feel so....i'm gonna cry. Urgh, worst week ever because i'm gonna be damn busy! Gosh, so many birthdays and i'm like saving money naoz? Umm, i have to survive this week with bread and water everyday :( Fretting over work, report, money and sleep! Right now, i'm stuck at my report. OMG, fml!

Sian, i rather go back sch to study and because of my bloodyhell attachment, i don't have enough time to relax. Either i spend my fridays night outside with people and back home at the dawn. Mommy would complain that i keep going out on late nights, but i don't have any time with friends alr. Urgh, seriously who understands man? And worst of all, so broke right naoz and birthdays almost consecutive three days this week. I'm like spending most of my money and time with friends and have sacrifice my sleep. Seriously, shag. From next week onwards, going church on Saturdays. How i wish i could have 48hours a day! I, berry shag and sleepy.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

2011-07-10T16:15:00.011+08:00

What a night.

Pat and Ernest

Shirley

Pat, Ernest and Marcus

----->Okay don't have me, cause i look berry tired and likea zombie

Friday night was awesome, like totally! Was at downtown east, bowling, chilling out session and of course Chivas. Together with Shir, Pat, Ernest & Marcus. Poker game, but pat didn't drank. Actually, he's afraid to get drunk! Haha, most epic part was Marcus puked! Wtf, Marcus was drunk and he puked -.- And he thought, i will be the one who's drunk HAHAHA. Like seriously, haven't been drinking for months. Gladly, i'm fine and i'm wide awake when i got home at the dawn!

Church in the afternoon on saturday. Service was awesome and yeah i miss church much. Met up with Jozzy and Aihui, omg miss them so much after two years. Yeah, i dug out my bible after two long years. Abit exaggerating hahaha but it's not dusty okay! Worship songs were awesome, feels good to be back to God's home. Think i'll be back for more service in future. Awesome much(:

Alright, damn buzzie right naoz. Gonna upload photos and do some artworks. Urgh, my weekends gone just like that. And, tmr's Monday. HATE IT TOTALLY, i don't wanna work uh!:(

Please, another 8weeks. Must endureee till the end! God bless me

Toodles, xoxo.

2011-07-07T16:26:00.003+08:00

Leopard Printz.

Changed my blogskin, likea finally. Totally luv it! Simple and nice hehe(:

Anyway, i'm bored. Have been trying to research on my company, yet not much info :( OHMYGOSH, i need help? Wellllllll, i've just started doing my IA powerpoint presentation slides. Abit exaggerating but, i'm seriously damn bored. My log book is like...i should just wipe my shit with it. Gonna re-do my report again, like so messy and fugly. Have no idea how to write a report & i'm doing the same thing everyday, tell me how to write ley? So, i keep photocopying company's airway bills, DO and many paperwork. Lol, just anyhow bomb only sia. Feel like sleeping loh, sleepy and having a headache now!

Waiting for time to pass faster. I wanna go homeeeeee, i wanna sleep, i wanna eat, i wanna bathe and i wanna nua at my sofa watching teevee. I'm veryveryvery sleepy! Sigh~ Quick, 5.30pm ley! :(

Happy ending

2011-07-06T11:22:00.008+08:00

Happy Ending.

Maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy. Maybe it’s up to you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and the embarrassment, you never gave up hope.

I could hardly find someone to pour my woes to, because i feel that no one understands me. Sigh. This few days i've been thinking, thinking about what i've been doing for this whole year after we've broke up.

For this whole year, i've been waiting. Waiting for one day, you might turn back? You might break off with her & i'll be there for you. So, both of you did broke up & right now another girl's in your arms. History repeating again. I remembered clearly, after we've broke up you did the same thing to me. You left me and you're after another girl. Shall i say i'm too easy to be forgotten or you're just toying with my feelings? I don't understand why is this so? For this fucking one year, i thought you've changed. But, you've proven me wrong & i'm not angry or what. I'm disappointed and heartbroken. I''ve finally seen through you, so this is you. & you make me feel goddamn disgusted by what you've done. One day, you'll know why people always leave you, because you're not worth it at all. One fucking year, i wasted it on you. I give up & i don't trust you anymore.
Finally, my nightmare's over. I don't wish for anything but hopefully, everyday would be better from now on.

Life, i don't know how long more could i hold on to & i'm at a loss right now. I'm tired of thinking. Life sucks. I'm just really, really tired. Tired of fighting, tired of trying. Can’t everything just fall into place by itself? Forget it, grabing some coffee and bread, just wanna waste my day like this.

2011-06-30T11:50:00.001+08:00

What a morning.

Okay, damn fucking busy since i started work. Got drenched and my office damn freezing cold. Yes, weekend's coming, can't waitttt. Because i need to get more sleep haha, pig uh. So far, attachment's good. But, hell yeah busy. Gonna meet up with Patty and Jordy later on for dinner, tsk troublesome much. I need to sleeeeeeeeeeeep. Not forgetting. to write my damn bloodyhell report. =w=

Weekends, i need you for my sleep.

2011-06-29T11:32:00.002+08:00

You

Another few days would be your birthday, i remembered, always will. I knew what you've been through lately, but i couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry i can't do anything to help you but i do care alot for you still, even though you don't. Well, hope you'll get better and stay happy always. Love you

It's gonna be a year since we've parted. I don't know why i'm still not over you. But, i'm trying to let go. I don't know how long it would take, maybe sooner or later i'll get tired and everything would come to an end. Sometimes, i feel so stupid, waiting like a fool. Because there's no turning back for us at all, you wouldn't be back again. Right now, we ain't even friends. What am i supposed to do? I gave up my studies, friends, pride and everything yet nothing in return. Yet, i still don't want to give up on us when it's been a year. Seriously, don't understand what the fuck i'm thinking, just what am i waiting for?

They say, when it takes time to heal all the pain and hurt. Time doesn't heal, it just makes us numb. All the pain and hurt won't go away, they're forever there. Scars will eventually remains there, memories flashbacks too. I'm at a loss of what to do, totally. Maybe i should just leave things as it is.

There's so many things i'm fretting over. Right now, how am i going to write for my IA report -.- Totally clueless. Heading out for lunch. KBai.

2011-06-28T09:59:00.003+08:00

T.I.R.E.D

Phew, managed to blog only when i've completed my work! Have been working from 9am till naooooo. Too hardworking alr, LOL! Well, attachment has been quite good for me. Though i'm belly busy with work! Hope time pass faster, i wanna go back to school. Everyday waking up at 6.30am, argh this is totally insanity! Deprived of sleep. Best thing is, i get my own desk and own desktop HAHAHA! Buttttt, school's the best. I can't imagine myself working everyday from 9am-5pm, kill me please i rather study!

Alright idk what to blog about. Waiting for chloe to finish her work and we can go homeeeeeeeeeee.
KBai.

2011-06-27T10:40:00.006+08:00

B.O.R.I.N.G

Decided to blog since i've nothing much to do. &, my blog's so dead. Alright, first day of attachment = BORING! Seriously, just sitting on my desk, looking around, text messaging and fb chat. Easy job hur? Actually, there's nothing for me to do today, so just daydreaming haha. Need to work for 2months or so. Wtf, fml!

Was thinking...
Well, any regrets you have in your life?

I guess for me, i regretted not studying well and hard enough. Partly because i'm fucking lazy and y'know busy dating. Can't blame anyone for it. But, well atleast i'm doing well in ite, GLADLY! I think, it's the best days of my entire life. Actually, ite isn't bad anyway. All those fun, laughters and friends. Managed to balance between studies and playtime, all those friends made in ite were awesome. So, i'm left with half a year before i graduate and, i will miss ite life for sure. Hmm, many regrets in life we've had, but nothing could be done to make up for it. Either you work extra harder to make it better or you just fucking waste it away. Everybody deserves a second chance, don't waste it away because there's a lil' hope to make things better. It's not too late for anything! I hope things will get even better for meeeeeeeeeee ♥

Alrightyyyy, back to work! I mean fb. I miss school rather than attachment. Please, time pass faster~

Xoxo ♥

2011-05-29T23:27:00.002+08:00

FAITH.

Once again, back to this space of mine. Ya, i know it's been abandon for months. But, i'm thinking of blogging again. Start everything afresh. Buttttttt, only when my holidays are here. Hehe. So, wait uh.

Kinda frustrated because of my fucking laptop, taking ages to install the itunes. AND YOU KNOW I'VE FINALLY UPDATING MY ITOUCH'S VERSION. OHMYTIAN, I'M STUCK AT VERSION 1.3 -.-

Come on baby, faster update and i'll hug my teddy to sleep

Meanwhile, during these few months. Life's been... full of ups and downs. But, still i've survived. Yay, i'm alive. I thought i would be drown with troubles one after another. Somehow, God's been nice to me. Thank God, I've pulled through everything. So, hallelujah! Haha. But, life's never easy. I'm like so fucked up with studies. You know, facing those stress. Urgh, i nearly commit sucide -.- LAST WEEK ALR, JUST HANG ON. AFTER THE EXAMS, I'M FREEEEEEEEEE!~

Life, oh life. Sometimes, small problems could just pull you down. But, stay strong. Have faith in God.

URGH, I'M GONNA FUCKING SHUT DOWN MY LAPTOP, WTF THE UPDATES GONNA TAKE ME AN HOUR OR SO. JUST KILL ME PLEASE. FMLFMLFML!

2011-02-27T11:50:00.001+08:00

Gonna reblog once exams are over, I promise! As for now, nothing matters more than studies!
Last week before exams, and i've lost my motivation to study! This's terrible!!
Ytd, instead of studying... I went prawning.
Today, instead of studying... I overslept and going for k session later.
Seriously, smth's wrong with me
I've lost my fighting spirit

life seriously sucks, with exams

2011-02-17T11:30:00.007+08:00

HORROR

Had a hard time doing fdm paper ytd night, nearly went bonkers.

And i realised, i haven't been revising my work all the time.

Here a bit, there a bit, cannot match them up. Urgh, you know. Feel so..

I'm running out of time. I wish there's tenyearseries for logistics. HAHA

What a joke. In my dreams man.

But, i managed do complete the paper, yay! * soproudofmyself!!!*

I HAVE 37 TOPICS TO STUDY, KILL MYSELFFFF!

panicpanicpanic.

I'm afraid, i can't do well.

XXX, remember. Last year, this day? We got back together.

2011-02-16T14:18:00.002+08:00

Ohmygawd, 127hours cannot scold vulgarities. Starts at: 16feb, 1pm.
Maybe, you should try it yourself. This's impossible! But, i try? LOL
I can't even type vulgar, speak, say or write. OMG, just kill me please.

And, exams coming soon, God Bless Me :(

Ytd, i was re-reading our msges at night. I just kept thinking about our times.

I really wish times would rewind, but it's impossible.

I tried to not think about you and us.

But, i just can't help it.

Please, what's wrong?

S T R E S S A H

Beginning

2011-02-04T20:15:00.000+08:00

Ohmygawdddd, don't know why I'm so damn lazy that I actually neglected my blog.LOL
Anyway, life's been a.... BITCH! Know why? I fail terribly, I feel as though I've been living aimlessly for the past eggteen years!
WTF, killllll me pwease I swear! I just keep finding problems to bother myself whenever I'm free -.- Likea retard, nothing better to do!

Wtv luh, wait till I sort my thinkings out first, studies bothering me, work's bothering me and you. I mean you, I just can't stop thinking about you.

Anywayyyyyy, it's cheena new year!(: I fucking lost money while playing blackjack yesterday night with the girls, Darry, Federick and Weilong. Argh, those guys were hardcore gamblers! Nb. Played till morning, eyelid closing alrrrr! Left after I've lost everything, eheheheheheh still have FIVE bucks horrr! Accompanied caoyu home with xinyi, damn tiring uh! And we ran home, like two mad woman running down the streets
in the middle of the night -.- And know what, I still have work in the morning, fucking tired! I'm super sleepy laaaa, luckily I was just brewing coffee together with Damian HAHAHA! Argh ended work at twoooo! Shag, tmr having work tooo :>

There's many things I wanted to say, but still I'll leave till tmrw or prolly when I feel like.
I miss you, the old you.

Xoxo, cecilia ♥

Happy 兔 Yearrrrrrrrr!

2010-11-27T20:12:00.003+08:00

Speechless

Work's tiringggg, i'm so H A P P Y that i don't have work tmr!!!! Omgxszxsz, finally i could have my beauty sleep, need it badly.

Going town with shirley and adrian tmr, still thinking what to wear. LOL! Tsk, have been thinking about it since ytd night. Wthhhh, still clueless -.-

I've many things to be done, i wished my holidays are here right now. But, there's two more tests to go, come on babyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

2010-11-24T13:51:00.000+08:00

Yes ahhhhh, MTP's overrrrrrr. Wahahahaha song bo?
But, there's more to come.
Don't be too happy yet

2010-11-19T09:45:00.002+08:00

Having exams in the next two weeks. I think, i'm in dead meat alreadyxsz.
Gotta buck up man. This semester's difficult. Most of the time, i was daydreaming. Lol. Whatever it is, study nao before it's too late!

I wish i could have something that belongs to mine forever.

It sucks to have school when most of my friends are having their holidays.
Worst still, exams in the next two weeks. FML LAHXSZ

2010-11-11T11:45:00.002+08:00

Well, i'm back. Like after donkey years.
Anyway, i've been late for school for consecutive one whole week.
It wasn't used to be like before. So, from next week onwards, i'm gonna be puntual for class. Wake up at 6am to prepare. LOL, not so early. But rather atleast an hour earlier!

This whole week busy with events. Actually one event only, which was ytd - Speak Good English Event. Kinda fun and i learned smth. My english half bucket only.( direct translation from chinese HAHAHA ) Anyway, kinda catch up with my studies alr, great! (Y) Babyyyyy, study time nao!

Ciao.

P.S/ You always run through my mind, countless time

2010-11-02T14:21:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, i spend my time shitting and wasting my life.
Perhaps, it's time for me to wake up.

2010-11-02T14:16:00.000+08:00

I see you everyday! <3